the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
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I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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