One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
