if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
