and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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