too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize