Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
