Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
