Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
