sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just had sex on a roof
My ass is underappreciated
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
