1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.