Soap is not a condiment
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
