as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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