she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
