1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
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