Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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