If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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