Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
