My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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