pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
