and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
