Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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