you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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