Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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