Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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