I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
