Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
