I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
