stop calling my apartment porn island.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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