My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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