I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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