rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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