Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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