i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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