Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
