i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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