She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
