she smelled like a LAN party
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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