My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
