Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
