And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
