if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
