So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have post one night stand depression
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
