Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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