You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
