Dual....:-)
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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