He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize