You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
