that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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