Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
