I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
