She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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