Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
