Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
