Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
