Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
