I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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